But her smile never changed. The look in her eyes told me how much she loved me.For a while, she tried to function around the house, but she quickly got worse. As the cancer spread, so did the terrible pain. Her body was often hunched over and she had to fight to smile, something that previously came so naturally to her.At first, we gave her drugs to numb her, but they made her sleepy and prone to blackouts. She said she didn't want to spend the last weeks of her life in an opium-like haze, so she had her doctor reduce the dosages. She was lucid, but every movement cut her like a knife. I don't know how she could tolerate it.We put a hospital bed in our room and soon McKayla was spending more and more time in it, until she became too weak to get up. Four months had passed since they re-discovered her cancer.Maureen took it well, I think. She kept a blog that we checked regularly. We talked all the time. I think she tried to put on a brave face for McKayla but it was tearing her apart. For years and years and years I never even had a computer, and then when I did, only managed to wipe out half my records by mistake and then block the damned thing by pressing the wrong key, - I never dared to go into a porn site. But over the last five years or so the porn sites have been carefully, even delicately, visited, - trying out hundreds of them but then abandoning when they no longer caused my tired old cock even to twitch a little. Recently, I started to be a bit braver, and signed-up monthly subscriptions for sites which promised wonderful and everlasting sexual contentment through the screen.......but they've also not lasted. I'd often noticed xHamster lately but to tell you the truth found the name, -the idea of the hamster, - so cute and friendly that I never thought to join it for the sex.......but was wrong again of course. So I joined it not so long ago, (actually it was yesterday), and have already gone the whole hog - porn-wise. Joined the chat-room, started.
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